Avatar: The Bootleg

After all my "nothing makes me want to see this film" (takes haughty drag on imaginary cigarette as I always do when I get a bit of 'tude) about Avatar, I went and saw it last night.
We'll put it down to peer pressure.

I gotta say, it looked pretty amazing. Actually totally amazing. This 3D business is incredible. And for the first 90 minutes I was in. For the first time ever, you had me, James Cameron. Gasping and giggling in the right spots, reaching for my friend's hand whenever a character leaped off a cliff, pleasantly surprised by the environmental message and anti-war/anti-imperialism allegory etc. I was more than willing to put up with the predictable plot and slightly uninspired dialogue and go on the journey.

And then it descended into 40 minutes of "my gun is bigger than your arrow" bang bang shoot 'em up bullshit. Explosions, crashes, death. Is this really necessary? And apparently it's okay for a tribe of pacifist nature-loving aliens to brutally attack and destroy an army of humans who are basically just doing the job they were sent to do because they are the "bad" guys. Mixed messages here, Cameron. Are you for or against war? You certainly spent a large part of the film reveling in it.

The environmentalism suddenly became suspiciously gimmicky. I became wary of an anti-imperialist message coming from a $300 million film that has saturated the international market. Now I think about it, I wonder how much of that extra $150 million advertising and publicity budget went towards carbon neutral film promotion?

And when I remember the film in my mind I can't recall the revolutionary CGI or realism of the 3D, for some reason all I see is Disney's Pocahontas. Still, it was fun for a while.

But I wish I saw it this way...



Forget James Cameron. How can I get a job editing for these guys?

Podley Predictions for 2010

You remember how this is done, right?

It's the end of the year, nay the decade, and the dawn of a new one so of course the question on everyone's lips is, "what does my ipod predict 2010 will hold for me?"

You set your ipod (in my case, his name is Podley) to shuffle mode. You can also use itunes by selecting the itunes DJ. You ask the ipod a question and hit play. The song that comes up is the answer to your question. Sometimes I like to do two or three songs per question to get a more accurate reading.

I was always a bit skeptical of Podley's powers of prophesy but ever since I tried it again:
Podley (Or: the not-so-magic 8 ball ipod), Tuesday April 28, 2009
I've been quite impressed with his predictions.
It probably helps if you load up your ipod with uplifting songs with positive titles.

I'm going to ask him about the basics. First up...

NEW YORK
(Just to give you some background information, we recently made an Excel document graphing our finances. It is basically a 160 degree line that crashes into the x-axis on January 16, unless we can find some permanent work. We call it the Excel Document of Doom).
What does 2010 hold for NY, Podley?

Countdown (Phoenix)
Superstar (Sonic Youth covering The Carpenters)

Well well. Pretty positive (and accurate on the first one there). Thank you Podley!


CAREER

You Can't Break a Heart and Have It (Black Francis)
The Night has Opened my Eyes (The Smiths)

Um... Sure that's a wise point Frank makes but these two are a little cryptic. I guess the career thing is TBC. I might reboot Podley, I think he's a bit confused.


FAMILY

Kalifornia (Kashmir)
Is it Really so Strange? (The Smiths)

Well yes, actually. I have no idea why my family would be in California (although they are planning a trip over here to visit...) I think what Podley is trying to say is that I have altogether too many Smiths songs on my ipod.


MONEY

Helps Both Ways (Mogwai)
Roland (Interpol)

Interesting. And again, a bit of wisdom there from the Mogsters. I used to work for a terrific editor called Roland. Maybe he is going to give me a large sum of money that we both forgot he owes me?


LOVE

You are my Joy (The Reindeer Section)
Cigarettes and Wedding Bands (Band of Horses)

I KID YOU NOT!! Nice try Podley but I don't think so. Marriage is lovely for other people, I especially like it when my friends get hitched. But for me the word "wedding" makes me hyperventilate and I probably would need to take up smoking.


THE PAST

Yes! I am a Long Way from Home (Mogwai)
Catastrophe and the Cure (Explosions in the Sky)

Wow. Of course, given that every song on my ipod is from the past, odds are whatever comes up will have some kind of resonance, right? Still. That's a bit weird.

I hope I have cured all my catastrophes.

And that's it! Let me know how you go with it guys.
Happy holidays everyone!

xx K

Empire State of Mind (Or: Stephen Colbert with a word from our sponsor)

Oh my, three posts in one week! This is what happens when procrastination meets with sub-zero temperatures.

Wherever you go in NYC, you are never more than 10 metres from someone playing this song. I am sure in years to come it will immediately evoke Winter in NY 2009 for me, in spite of the sneaking suspicion I have that it was commissioned by the NYC Tourism Bureau. Interestingly, I am yet to meet a single person who does not like this song. In fact, I am yet to meet a single New Yorker who doesn't like Jay-Z.

Additionally, in a land of a thousand television channels and all of them showing CSI: Miami, Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart are the only reasons to not throw your television out the window. And 11pm is the only time to even consider turning it on.

So now, ladies and gentlemen, I bring you Alicia Keys and Stephen Colbert performing "Empire State of Mind"...

Rats, Foiled Again (Or: Here's looking at you, kid)

Slightly Embarrassing Confession #4

I've always had a theory that Instant Karma is hanging right on my tail pretty much all the time. Any time I do something vaguely naughty or silly, it pounces immediately. Actually not immediately. It bides its time until it can wring out the largest amount of sheepishness and/or embarrassment.

I don't really mind because:
a) It serves me right for being a bit of an idiot sometimes
b) it'll add comedic value to the memoirs

I spend a LOT of time on the computer. I have to for my job and I am sure you guys do too. So when I go looking for distraction, I usually do it on the internet. Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, blogs... you name it, I will procrastinate on it. I also spend a lot of time trawling through music on last.fm. If you're one of my friends I have probably logged on and swung by your page to check out your tunes and look for music inspiration. I love seeing what people are listening to just as much as I love looking at people's photos and blog updates. I'll even look at photos on Facebook and last.fm music lists of people I don't know and, very occasionally, people who I shouldn't be looking at. And here's where it gets embarrassing.

It turns out people know when you're looking at them! And here I thought I could cyber stalk in private. Thanks for letting me know a little earlier, Instant Karma. Did everyone know the interweb had this capability?? Actually, a good buddy of mine was doing online dating here in NY and on the site he was using, it told you who came to your page and when. Now there's an added humiliation you need when putting yourself out there on the quest for lurve. The popularity of FB and those social network type places make me think I am not alone in checking out people you'd rather didn't know you were checking out (after all, I have counseled friends through the devastation of their ex's FB status going from "single" to "in a relationship", or worse: to "engaged"). And not just ex-perving - new friends, friends of friends, work colleagues... I think we all look sometimes and shouldn't our nosiness be private?

If you have any good stories/confessions of embarrassing internet "research", I'd love to hear them. Meanwhile, I'm going to step away from the computer and maybe get into something a little more constructive. Like reading. Or cartography.

I'll get you next time, Karma. Next time.

She Can't Rock (Or: Recently heard on the subway Episode 1)

Yesterday we crammed into the subway at Bedford (W'burg) heading into Manhattan. We were squooshed inescapably next to two 'young people' who were having the following (completely serious) conversation:

Girl: "Am I a better bass player than her?"
Boy: "Oh look, I can't... I can't, like, really say anything you know but yeah she only knows like one riff"
*demonstrates vocally*
"She can't even do triplets"
Girl: "What are triplets?"
Boy: "Dadada dadada dadada"
Girl: "Yeah oh like Iron Maiden?"
Boy: "Yeah. She can't even play ACDC. She's like, she's just not rock you know? She just can't rock"
Girl: "She can't rock"
Boy: "No she totally can't rock."

Boy and girl then go on to namedrop every hard rock band on the face of the planet, demonstrating the breadth of their musical knowledge and thus proving they, in fact, can rock.

We can only hope they'll be touring nationally sometime soon.

Listomania (2009: The Mix Tape)

It's that time of year again: time to compile The Mix Tape* (2009 edition).
I realise across the interweb there are lists upon lists being compiled that cover the entire decade. I'm afraid I can't offer anything that far-reaching because I have enough trouble remembering what I was listening to three days ago, let alone three years.

I think this compile is definitely in my Top 3 Self-Compiled Mix Tapes of all time though.
1. "2004: Your Hand in Mine"
2. "2008: Come Back, I am Waiting"
and now rocketing to third place is
3. "2009: New York, New York"

A list of lists. Oh my.
Has someone just crashed through nerd and come out the other side?

While we're on the topic, I thought I'd better add that there have been concerns voiced re. recent band t-shirt purchase combined with new abode smack in the middle of Hipster College, USA (ie. Williamsburg). Let me just assuage your concerns and say that I kind of find Williamsburg eerily reminiscent of a hipster's Logan's Run and am nervous that I will be chased out of here as soon as the young'uns realise I'm over 30 and not wearing ugly 80s trousers, ray bans and a scarf that sparkles. But this is the only place I've found where you can get free pizza with your beer so I kind of want to stay put and fulfill my dream of turning into Marlon Brando circa Apocalypse Now. Then you can ship me back to the West Village and continue to feed me ice cream intravenously.

Anyhoo. Here is "2009: New York, New York" complete with pictures.




1. New York, New York - Ryan Adams




2. 1901 - Phoenix



3. Starring - Freelance Whales




4. The Swimming Song - Loudon Wainwright III




5. Sandman, the Brakeman and Me - Monsters of Folk




6. Fake Empire - The National




7. Say - Do Make Say Think




8. Vincent O'Brien - M. Ward




9. I Don't Believe You - The Magnetic Fields




10. Pa Pa Power - Dead Man's Bones




11. Daytona 500 - Ghostface Killah (feat. Raekwon and Cappadonna) Yup. And I stand by this. I don't care how white I am.




12. Moksha - Caspian




13. Running Through Woodland - Message To Bears




14. Falling out of Love with You - The 6THS




15. Tightrope - Yeasayer




16. Mogwai Fear Satan - Mogwai




17. Lizstomania (Home Demo) - Phoenix


Track order is the hardest part dontcha think? Unfortunately Mogwai's "Mogwai Fear Satan" is too long (16mins) and will have to be sacrificed for the limited edition CD. For anyone that's interested though, I have uploaded my 2009 Mix Tape for your downloading/listening pleasure.
Hope you like it.



* Note: The rule we follow for our mix tapes (because it has become an institution among some of my friends) is that it is what you were listening to this year. Songs did not have to be released this year. But the first track probably gave that away.